This post is seven months late.  

Posted by Smoke

We are going to have a baby. OK, so I have known this for the 30 odd weeks, so I'm writing about it.
Its a boy, thank goodness, only one penis to worry about. Anyway, I am extremely excited, even though it doesn't show.

This is my second child and my wife's first. with my daughter, I was over shadowed by an over zealous, unbearable, bible thumping, "mother-in-law" (thank Om I never married that girl). anyway, ultra sounds and all round dad things was not allowed (teen pregnancy), so this is my first real pregnancy.

My wife is probably the luckiest women in the world, as morning sickness, nausea and heartburn missed her. Only now, is she getting some pains as the body is adapting, but that's it.

Only thing is that it is getting unbearable and baby must come out soon as she is very uncomfortable. The other day she mentioned to me the first 10 things she will do when baby is born.

Here follows the list in no particular order:

1. Sleep on her stomach

2. Roll around effortlessly on bed

3. Have a pain free stretch in the morning

4. Bend over and touch feet

5. Care for her own feet again without struggles

6. shave her legs as soon as she can reach.

7. Have a drink again (she refused to have any alcohol during pregnancy)

8. Eat sushi (as you are not allowed to have raw fish while pregnant. the fact
that before, she had never ate sushi, is irrelevant)

9. Have a super pain killer that will get all the pains, as the ones allowed while pregnant is SHITE

10. Then Start the rest of her life, loving the baby.

Until then, I will Keep you updated.

Sir Richard Brandson, I want to congratulate you on the empire you have created. And on all the amazing feats you have accomplished. You are one of the few modern day men who has found his place in history. After this technological age has passed and Al Gore has hit the delete key on his keyboard to wipe out the internet. And after the American football team beat Brazil, Germany, Italy and Portugal in consecutive Fifa world cup finals, which will cause Hooligan International to take to the streets and burn down all libraries and book stores, then you would still be remembered. As for me, I am a lowly blogger from sunny South Africa, who has but only accomplished to stay alive.

I will now tell you a bit about myself. I am a humble Government employee who earns nearly enough to get by monthly. Yet still I choose excelance. For instance, I spent a great part of my income on purchasing a Leatherman multi tool, I was willing to spend it, as I knew I was paying for quality and service, as this product has a hassle free 25 year warranty, just the other day I sent it away for minor repairs and servicing, and it only cost me postage. I also own a few Zippo lighters, and again they dont come cheap, but they also have a life time garantee, so if they break I get them repaired or replaced, free of charge. The cellphone I use, a Nokia, the model I use was a bit pricy, but the multi functunality of it makes it worth it.

Terry Pratchett once wrote of Samual Vimes' boots. It went like this. A rich man can afford sturdy expensive boots, that would keep his feet dry for years, which would cost him, lets say, $50 dollars every 7 years. A poor man, who can only afford those $10 boots, would not only have to replace them every year, but would also have constant wet feet. Which only mean that the rich man would save and get richer, and the poor man wont. Now this makes sence to me. So why am I adressing you on this matter?

Well, I have for about two years now, been using one of your products here in South Africa, and that is, Virgin Mobile SA. When first it arived, I thought to myself: "that Richard Brandson, he has his head straight on, feet firmly planted." and then I saw the rates. It was incredible, data charges, nearly free, text, virgin to virgin, dirt cheap, and to top it all, at the end of each month, you even gave me free airtime. So before you can say,"nice salt and pepper sellers, can I steal them?" I went over to Virgin mobile. Now as I am one for simplicity, I use my phone for everything, especially the internet. So I was surprised one day to find the proverbial honeymoon to be over. The network would be down, more often than not, airtime wouldnt load via mobile banking etc etc. All these problems where docking up, but my wife and I, we though, "nah, teething problems, theyre still young, and atleast their call center operators dont try to get frisky." so we hang in there. But low and behold, it still went on.

And now, two years later, here we are today. My wife is now 24 weeks pregnant and has to drive about 30 kilometers to work at about 06:30 in the morning on a rural road. Lucky she drives with people from work. So she tries to text my and... Message fails, she tries again and again and again, to no preveil. So she tries to phone and again, nothing. Then she contacts the sort me out centre, only to recieve an automated message telling her to try again in 2 hours as they only open at eight. She did that, only she kept getting disconnect. I try to phone and text and I have the same problem. So now I am thinking, "what if she was travelling alone, and something happended?" Well. On the weekend we will be porting our Numbers back to the more expensive, more reliable network, have I mentioned they have 3G and hsdpa.

You see, I missed the plot, rather pay more and have the knowledge that you would get service, than taking the bargain that might just cost you dearly. Mr Brandson, sorry, Sir Brandson, it would be nice if I could challenge you to come to South Africa for a month, and in that time, use only virgin mobile SA for all your data needs, telephony, internet, etc. I would even go so far as to wager 10% of my monthy income, against 10% of yours. Hey, if it costs me R700 (about £70) to get you to fix your product, it would be worth it. What do you say? Are you up for a challenge?

PS:Before anyone burns down my blog, I know it is Branson and not Brandson

The spreading of the gospel