Showing posts with label monroe. Show all posts

What ever happened to Monroe? Well, he is back. And the adventure continues.
Let me not keep you...

..."bear with me Tony, it is a colorful tree that i am after, not necessarily a flowering tree".
As if I, haven't explained this at least a dozen times to the poor man.
" look carefully at the two images in front of you".
"What do you mean, you don't have the photos with you?"
"OK, run to your office, and collect them, and then call me back."
"Yes Tony, "
"because you cant call me back, if you don't put the phone down."
"OK, now go".
Click

Why should it be so hard, getting the right, color-scape, wall paper in an office. Trees with different shades of green and orange and brown and red, is not remotely the same as a deep purple Bougain Villa, but it probably is my own fault. I did say i wanted to be reminded of the island life. It is a shame he was thinking of Hawaii.

I suppose you want to know why i am hanging Wall paper. and why I am not, say, chasing after the next sale, selling air conditioning to the Arctic, or fighting off ruthless rivals. Well after my island ordeal, I returned back to the office, and for a couple of weeks, all was fine. But then it started creeping back to me, the island was calling me, luring me back. It was as if some strange, native bacteria, off the island, had crept under my flesh, and the whole of me, body and mind, was reaching back there.

I took it upon myself to bring two palm trees into my cubicle, and I would sleep there, during the day, on a stretcher. Some mornings, someone would offer me a muffin or a bagel, then I would just shrug, and raise my machete and live chicken.

When I stopped being productive, and my colleagues started complaining about the smell, the Boss had no choice, but to call me in.

"Is everything OK, Monroe?" He asks with genuine concern. "I passed a wishing well on my way to work this morning, Sir". Being very careful, as one tends to be around the deranged, "yes Monroe? Did you make a wish?" "I stopped and peered into it, Sir. and then it chucked coins at me". "That is worrying, my dear Monroe," "The palm trees was laughing at me, Sir". I could tell, that caught him. "Right, Monroe, I have been worried lately, since your rescue from the Island, you haven't been yourself, and I think the company, Me really should express my gratitude towards you for everything you have done for us, and the lengths you have gone to." At that point, he had my attention, like a ship moored at port.

Can you believe it, I have been made VP of Executive Liaison, and yes, that post is as big a truck load of bovine excrement, as the delusional state I was in.

"VP of Execut... oh, Tony, so you have the images?"
"Right, and you can see, there is not really any flowers involved?"
"That is the ticket, son"
"So what do you think? the linear motion or the swirl effect?"
" I couldn't have said it better myself, now get it done."
Click

Only one small issue to sort out, and i will be in Career bliss. I head up to Mr bean counter's office, and Walk in without knocking, my box of matches in hand. " So Kent, what is this I hear about the spending on my work place therapy?" I draw one match from the box, one handed and Kent's eyes doesn't move from it. "It is just to expensive, and any way, since your farce of a promotion, Monroe, you seem to be doing a lot better." I stare at him and say. " Are those wasps I hear? Only one way to get rid of them, you know." Still one handed, I strike the match and numbing fear lights up in Mr Kent's eyes. "That is Mr Monroe to you. or have you forgotten your place?" Kent reaches for his desktop fone, and dials for a line.
" Janette, please get a copy of the roof-top-roller-coaster-proposal down to consignment, with my approval on it."
"I know what I said, but this is what I am saying now."
"This is not the time, woman"
"You and my wife both say so, but you both come back for more."
"No, we will discuss it over drinks."
click

"Oh Kent, seems your in the double dog house tonight" I wink at him. "Any thing else Mon.. Mr Monroe?"
 " You learn fast Kent, now sit! beg! Just kidding, but I have your number, if anything comes up" I say, as I close the door, to the shutter of cheap porcelain on wood.

IF this was a perfect world, and I was the writer I dream to be, you all would be jumping up, screaming and giving all round high fives. Yes The saga of mister Monroe continues...

Another Wordzzle (HERE are the rules) and these are the words.

(5 word): gone gravity, variable, swinging on a star, gardening, trombone


(10 word challenge): carpenter ants, freak, good as new, jelly beans, olive oil, scamper, champion, goose egg, pizza, ceiling fan

...This is the story so far... Mr Monroe, An avid salesman, though he hates it, has been stranded on a deserted island for a few months, after being chucked off a cruise ship by his rival, over a certain seven figure contract. The story continues, with our hapless hero starting to enjoy the island life.... a bit to much.

"gone gravity, gone" he yells out as he dives off the cliff. Care free and unrestrained, Monroe plummets to the surface of the rock pool he found a couple of days after landing on the island. It was by accident, as a few hours earlier he found a shrub with fruit, about the size of a goose egg. After tasting it, he swore that it had the same flavor and texture as jelly beans. Little did he know that these particular berries, contain hallucinogens and before Monroe knew it, he was swinging on a star, floating across the island, when he went over the cliff, and ended up in the pond. From then on, it became his bathtub.

He entered the water like a brick at the Olympics, and still scored himself a 9,6. "I am still the diving champion on this island" he cried out. The sun was steadily rising through the trees as he had to scamper out onto the small beach, he grabbed his, by now, sleeveless shirt and ran off through the jungle to Landing beach. He had started building a raft one day, with no help from the Jelly bean fruit. He would later on in life have sworn that he did it with the help from a platoon of carpenter ants and various pieces of wood. He later discovered to his dismay, that the ants was only good for feasting on his home-made gardening tools and that none of the materials used for the raft actually floated as the steel-like wood was to heavy.

He did how ever find that the raft made quite a good signal fire when one day he dropped a bottle of olive oil, that he had made himself ("well it looks like olives, and it tastes like olives. hey!! is that a trombone I hear playing 'Smoke on the water? Dammit, Jelly beans all over again') on the raft. At that very moment, by some freak accident, lightning struck some where in the middle of the island.

The next day though, he went down to the raft and lit it with a torch from his home fire he had made on day two. Now Monroe was heading there to place more green foliage on it to get his daily smoke signal. He nearly attracted a ship once, or should I say, he once, attracted nearly a ship. It was in fact a flotilla of debris, doing its world tour.

But not today, for some reason Monroe felt lucky today. Firstly, he found some berries that actually didn't have a mind altering affect. Secondly, his new home made tools actually survived the ants for once, and thirdly, there was no rain last night, so fixing the signal fire only required adding a few pieces of the flotilla, (which he swam out to and retrieved) and new greenery, and light it. He had to feel lucky because he just used the last of his "olive oil" which actually burned like jet fuel. ("heck, if I had wheels and variable speed gearbox, I could set up a world Island speed record") And it would take at least two more weeks before his new batch was ready.

When the fire stack was as good as new, he lit the "fuel" and the fire roared into life. A few minutes later, white smoke was billowing up as if a new Pope was elected, And Monroe felt strangely at ease. To no one in particular he said, " today, I am getting of this Island. And the first thing I will do, Is have a Pepperoni Pizza, with extra cheese, thank you." Monroe then lay back, and stared off into the distance. He enjoyed this part of the day most. Watching pods of dolphins galloping by, or to see the occasional Humpback, breach on the horizon, which was exactly what he was now looking at. From the distance, he saw an unknown seabird, fly from the direction of the whale and he could almost imagine it to have taken off from the whale. itself.

He did this for a couple more minutes, then got up and walked off into the forest to look for something to eat. He picked what was probably totally harmless berries and plopped a handful into his mouth. And then the sound struck him. It sounded as if an over sized ceiling fan got loose and was now hunting for dust bunnies. Monroe frantically started scurrying for the berry bush. "Did I just eat the orange berries with the blue flowers again?" He panicked, as he was sure it was an early onset of the 'Full Metal Jacket' trip again. "WHOP WHOP WHOP WHOP" sounded the military choppers, at least no gun fire, yet. "MONROE!" "Oh crap, Charly is onto me" Monroe headed to the beach, " How did they find out my name?" "Monroe, Are you in there? We saw the smoke. Come out".

As Monroe stepped out, of the jungle path, he first saw the red and green Helicopter, and on it something resembling the company Logo. And walking towards him, dressed in a garish avocado green safari suit, was the Boss himself. He held onto his wide brim straw hat, as the blades ripped at it. "Thank god we Found you Monroe, come on, the boat is waiting out there" he was pointing towards the whale. "Is this real sir, only, I have been having bad luck with the local cuisine." At that moment, Mr Kent was heading towards him from the Bell 407, sporting his usual cheap cut gray suite. " Thank heavens your alive, why didn't you get the contract?" " I guess I am not hallucinating, but just to be sure", Monroe punched Mr Kent in the nose. "Whad da fug wad dat for?Did dew thee dat Bob?" "just a reality check Kent, lets get you out of here Monroe". "Just a moment sir, just want to get my bag".

Monroe headed up to the edge of the jungle where his make shift shelter was and grabbed his bag, which contained about a pound of "olives" and three jars of fermented "olive oil" ( the jars were in the bottom of the crate that landed on the island with Monroe) "just a few items to remind me of the home I had here sir" (and a nice pension plan, if I hand it over to my R & D buddy at that fuel company, along with the co-ordinates of the island) " You don't happen to have the position of this here Island sir?" well of course Monroe, but I don't think any of us has reason ever to return here?" "No sir, this place is as barren as a mule sir".